Taxonomy


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taxonomy THEODORE ROOSEVELT (1858-1919)
Theodore Roosevelt was one of the most successful presidents in American history. He was fun to hang around with. He had a screeching voice that sometimes scared people who did not expect it coming from a man like himself. He told jokes and played with children. He loved children. He told ghost stories that would scare the little children to death. However, he had another side to him. When it was not time for fun and games anymore, he meant it and he did his job well. He took great pride in the United States. He wanted the best for his country and therefore he served his country to the very best of his ability.
Roosevelt had a poor health when he was young. His asthma was especially bad. Whenever his asthma acted up on him, his caring father would take young Roosevelt out on the wagon and ride around until he got better. This is where Roosevelt gained his love for nature. He enjoyed being outside. He loved the tranquility of the forest, the animals, the water and such. A particular favorite of his was the bird. He loved the birds. He soon got into studying taxonomy and excelled in it. Roosevelt overcame his poor with many activities as he grew older. He did wrestling, riding, hunting, and swimming. Boxing was one of his favorites sports. He even managed to permanently injure one of his eyes during a boxing match.
Roosevelt liked to take initiative. Therefore when he became impatient about not being able to get into any military action he resigned his Navy post in May 1898 to serve as lieutenant colonel under Wood. Roosevelt gathered himself a handful of volunteers and created what we as the Rough Riders. The Rough Riders became famous after Roosevelt ordered them to charge Sanuan Hill. They did so successfully and Roosevelt came back from battle a legend and thus beginning   ... more

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business letters

The story behind the letter below is that there is this guy in
> Newport, RI named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard
> and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling
> them with scientific names, insisting that they are actual
> archaeological finds. This guy really exists and does this in his
> spare time. Here's the actual response from the Smithsonian Institution to
> one such find. So, the next time you are challenged to respond in
>writing.....
> ____________________________________________________
>
> Smithsonian Institute
> 207 Pennsylvania Avenue
> Washington, DC 20078
>
> Dear Mr. Williams:
>
> Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled
> "93211-D,layer seven, next to the clothesline post...Hominid skull."
> We have given this specimen a careful and detailed examination, and
> regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it
> represents conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in
> Charleston County two million years ago.
>
> Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie
> doll, of the variety that one of our staff, who has small children,
> believes to be "Malibu Barbie." It is evident that you have given a
> great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may
> be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work
> in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings.
> However, we do feel that there are a number of physical attributes of
> the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern origin:
>
> 1. The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are
> typically fossilized bone.
>
> 2. The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic
> centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest
> identified proto-homonids.
>
> 3. The dentition pattern evident on the skull is more consistent with
> the common domesticated dog than it is with the ravenous
> man-eating Pliocene clams you speculate roamed the wetlands during
> that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most
> intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this
> institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily
> against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
>
> A. The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a
> dog has chewed on.
> B. Clams don't have teeth.
>
> It is with feelings tinged with melancholy that we must deny your
> request to have the specimen carbon-dated. This is partially due to
> the Heavy load our lab must bear in its normal operation, and partly due
> to carbon-dating's notorious inaccuracy in fossils of recent geologic
> record. To the best of our knowledge, no Barbie dolls were produced
> prior to 1956AD, and carbon-dating is likely to produce wildly
> inaccurate results.
>
> Sadly, we must also deny your request that we approach the National
> Science Foundation Phylogeny Department with the concept of assigning
> your specimen the scientific name Australopithecus Back-yardicus.
> Speaking personally, I, for one, fought tenaciously for the
> acceptance of your proposed taxonomy, but was ultimately voted down
>because
>the species name you selected was hyphenated, and didn't really sound
> like it might be Latin.
>
> However, we gladly accept your generous donation of this fascinating
> specimen to the museum. While it is undoubtedly not a Hominid fossil,
> it is, nonetheless, yet another riveting example of the great body of
> work you seem to accumulate here so effortlessly. You should know that our
> Director has reserved a special shelf in his own office for the
> display of the specimens you have previously submitted to the Institution,
> and the entire staff speculates daily on what you will happen upon next
> in your digs at the site you have discovered in your Newport back yard.
>
> We eagerly anticipate your trip to our nation's capital that you
> proposed in your last letter, and several of us are pressing the
> Director to pay for it. We are particularly interested in hearing
> you expand on your theories surrounding the trans-positating
> fillifitation of ferrous metal in a structural matrix that makes the
>excellent juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex femur you recently discovered take on
>the deceptive appearance of a rusty 9-mm Sears Craftsman automotive
> crescent wrench.
>
> Yours in Science,
> Harvey Rowe
> Chief Curator-Antiquities ... more

taxonomy

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